Wait For It...

      I've been waiting. Waiting to see my child born. Waiting to complete my college education. Waiting for winter to be out of my life. Waiting for a house checklist to be full of scratched off tasks instead of staring at all the empty square boxes next to them.
      It would seem that waiting is one of those things that doesn't really exist. Like an emotion you can't see or touch, as in hoping or hurting, waiting seems to stand passively in the background. You see a person crossing their arms, twiddling there thumbs, pissing away their future, but you can't pinpoint that they are just waiting.
      I woke up angry. Livid that I had made no forward motion with my life in months. Sure I....

• Bought a house
• Painted house
• Filled house with furniture
• Made Baby
• Painted baby's room
• Painted baby's furniture
• Read half of 6 parenting books (surely, that equals 3 whole books)
• Trained Dog not to jump fence
• Chased Dog
• Mulched yard
• and filled Shed and Attic with all the stuff I've always had, have no idea what it is, but can't bring myself to get rid of. 

      That much I certainly did.

      But all of those things were the passive actions in my life. What I've truly been doing is Waiting. Waiting to win the lottery even though I have never played. Waiting for someone to say "Wow, you are so talented. Here is a Gagillion dollars. Way to Go!" Waiting to be given a honorary Phd from Harvard. I keep thinking if I can just wake up and get motivated or if I go back for that fifth cup of coffee that finally I will really get this train a' rollin'. At age 29 I've realized people don't just wake up at 30 as adults. Everyday you have to take one more step to becoming who you want to be, where you want to be it, surrounded by the people you want to be it with. I better start stepping.